.

I had to put it out there. You had to know the effect you had on me just now. Maybe once the words are out there they won't threaten the life they belong to.

I bit my cheeks 
Because I couldn't believe what you said
Because I couldn't believe I let those words escape my lips
I bit my cheeks

I Looked away
Because you stare me down
Because you looked right through me
I looked away

I pursed my lips
Because they threaten to frown
Because I was already biting my cheeks
I pursed my lips

Then I held my breath
Just so I wouldn't drown,
My eyes already frowned 
And all I could do was hold my breath
Wait for the moment to pass
And then... What?

I leave thought here, where you won't know you hurt me.

Just useless information about me. So here's a few of my bad habits, confessions and me-isms.

*I carry my tooth brush in my purse
*I count my cats whiskers
*I eat cake every day
*I write love letters to strangers.
*I put both feet on the pedals when I drive but not once have I ever slammed them both at the same time.
*I once jumped in a water fountain in Germany.
*I hitch hiked my 2nd day in Alabama.
*I love god above everything even though I don't show it
*I love my friends above myself. I make sure to show it.
*I wore Flip flops on my 1st trip to Alaska
*I drink august through October, on new years, my birthday.
*My dad is the only man to ever give me chocolates for valentines
*I celebrate august
*I've been told I moan in my sleep. Loudly.
*I am at ease when my nosering is out.
*I sleep with my fist against my mouth or else I drool.
*30% of my confidence depends on how good my bangs look. The rest is always there
*I've never shaved my thighs. There's nothing to shave.
*When in Europe, I always wear the brightest red lipstick I can find.
*I can tie cherry stems. With my hands. And my mouth too.
*I know how to tie a tie and polish boots
*I've gotten off an airplane. Made them reopen the door and all.
*my favorite food is pasta
*I was never proposed to.
*my teeth have a gap. I love it
*I sang a beetles song for a guy once. I got a kiss. Fair trade.
*my first kiss was during hide and seek. With my neighbor. I was 7.
*I actually enjoy turbulence during flights
*my boobs are amazing
*I French braid my own hair
*I've fallen inlove over the phone
*popping pimples is like my addiction
*I believe the best thing god made was one day after the other
*I never speak before i brush my teeth, just groan and nod
*I sang an Italian opera to perfection once. Never again, trained for that one song an I was done.
*I shoplifted a book once because a friend convinced me to. I never spoke to her again to this day.
*I plan on taking piano lessons this year.
*I can count to 10 in 5 languages.
*I never sign anything the same twice.
*i was bullied at school.
*I've been known to sing the same song at random moments for 2+ weeks
*I like listening to country when I drive long distances
*I send between 7-10k texts a month
*I've had the same few pen palls over 10 years

To be continued :)

I just hope B knows what a good friend I am by insinuating such things so publicly on FB.

I'm in the army. But I wasn't always in the army.

Once upon a time, a girl made the mistake of joining the coast guard. She hated it even before she signed the paper work. Did it for all the wrong reasons. But she actually learned something. Well a few things.

After being through boot camp, BCT was nothing. She learned everything she needed for BCT before she got there. And she learned from the heavy Blue Book she was punished with. She learned about Discipline. 

Page 212 of the Coast guardsman's manual.



I remember it word for word. It's definition. And I find myself using it sometimes. To me discipline isn't punishment, it's having the right attitude. And for it to be learned it needs to be taught.

In case you wondered, the story ends a little like this: 2 weeks before graduation, I went home. An entry level discharge. I did my time, waited 6 months, during which I found myself in ROTC and enlisted one day. The only place I could go was up from there. And I have :-)

Or I wouldn't still be playing politics to this day. 

The numbers are to make sure what's mine stays mine :) I'm on an iPad so marking stuff is rather difficult. I share stuff online, not give it away.

This is what happens when M goes away for a week.

You wear them on your feet, they make you taller, they make you faster, they take you Places but you only chose where.

These are my favorite shoes



From left to right... My combat boots. Part of my uniform. They literally take me places. I don't chose where but I chose to show up before I even put em on.

Black platforms. If you invite me somewhere I'll be on my feet for a while, these are my "I'm tall but my feet don't hurt" shoes.

Converse. These keep me grounded, down to earth, any other pun. You want to use :) they're from 9th grade, they have dogtags inside and I wear them when I feel like that little geek from high school.

Juicy flip flops. The only flip flops I've ever owned. My sister got them for me, we match.

Hello kitty sandals. My mother got me these 2 weeks ago and I can't take em off! Rain or shine, these are my spring shoes and show off my rainbow toe nails.

Vivianne Westwood pumps. My "barbie" shoes. Comfy... Oh so comfy... I saw them when they came out years ago and I was finally able to afford them. I adore these and they kinda remind me of Britney murphy's shoes in uptown girls.

So those are my shoes, the ones I most use anyway.

Have you ever been told by someone to walk a mile in their shoes? I have and I wonder if they refer to the ones they're wearing, or the ones I haven't seen cause they at home? Well I wonder if they can walk a mile in my barbie shoes OR my combat boots. When you ask someone to take a walk in your shoes, it's not just the ones your wearing, you have to walk in all their shoes!

In my boots I'm a soldier, in my platforms I'm a party girl, in converse I'm as carefree as I was when I bought them, in flip flops im a sister, in kitty shoes I'm a daughter and the barbie shoes make me feel like a princess! Can u be all those?

Yeah I'm that good. I bit an ear and an eye off without taking him out of the box :)

An other sleepless night. Julia wasn't quite sure if she had stayed up late because she had actual things to do or if her phone habits were to blame. Even after her friend called bed time for himself, she stayed awake and rather troubled. Shortly before they said their good byes, the conversation had taken an unexpected turn that simply left her riled up to say the least.

Crossing her legs, she got comfortable and opted to browse the internet for a distraction but instead found herself looking further into just the thing that had led her mind astray. As her mind wondered further she heard a familiar sound that meant danger for her furniture; rain on her sliding door windows. 

Annoyed, she sat up and put her computer aside. With one door closed, she tried to keep the train of thought as she reached for the other so she could get back to what she had in mind. Evidently she stood there too long since it gave the wind the chance to pick up and soak her in the coldest rain she'd felt in a while. Gripping the other door she slammed it shut as if it were it's fault before stomping away to the bathroom where she got ready for a REAL cold shower...

SFC B strikes again! At least he has all that nice snow to cool off in :)

She had nowhere to go. Julia had been driving for hours now, trying to think, trying to make sense of things not really paying attention to the road. As if on auto pilot she changed lanes, made turns and waited at red lights. When the car finally stopped the looked around only to find herself at the PX. On Post. How did she get there? Did she even flash the gate guard her ID? She must have since it now sat in the door handle whie her wallet lay open on the passengers seat.

She didn't need to shop, she had no real desire for it anyway. Tucking her wallet under the car seat and the ID in her pocket, she got out paying extra attention to not leaving her keys locked inside. She wasn't exactly herself right now and that wouldn't help any. Locking herself out of the car meant calling HIM. The last person she wanted to see at the moment.

Making her way into the store she walked every isle. Even the hardware one which she had never really needed to visit. An hour later she found herself in the familiar cosmetics, perfume and jewelry section. Pampering section. There were so many products she wasn't acquainted with. What better time than now?

An other hour later she came across a brand she had seen at other stores many times. She wasn't particularly fond of it but a single word on a body butter drew her over to the display. Grace.



One product label lead to an other and before she knew it, her mood had lifted and she found her way back home with snapshots of her favorite labels on her phone.

I've come to like these products so much that I think my ideal first date would consist of iced coffee and wondering around reading interesting labels on Phylosophy products and sharing the ones that strike us interesting:) or looking through a post secret book at a book store. *hint hint!*

Needless to say there's always a song in the back of my head that makes me want to twirl! Surprising enough that's what brought on this blog post, the song on my snow globe...

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad...

This very week last year I wrote a note on FB explaining what my status had been about. It should have been a novelization on my blog...

So at 3pm yesterday a friend, says "lets go to san juan!" and we get into her car and drive off. We make excelent timing, get there by 5:30, found amazing clothes, had wonderful dinner followed by an epic night out on the town.

Then the drive back.

She was drunk.

I was on meds so no drinks for me. So I'm driving back. Well the driver's side window was broken from a few days ago and it would be a week or two till she could afford to get it fixed so i had to open the door to give the toll booth money. We get to home, shes pretty sober to drive to her own home so she drops me off... and my coach bag is gone.

We turn the car over trying to find it, its gone!

See... I usually keep it between my thigh and the door, my phone between my legs and my drink (coffee soda...) is to my right. Should i open the door and forget its there, its okay cause thats cause I'm gettting out of the car. But i WASNT getting out of the car! I was giving a toll at a booth!

So at 5am, we start calling police stations, etc... ON A HOLIDAY! So we get a cop from ARECIBO to DRIVE to every single toll booth on the way to SJ to check if my bag was there. I got a call about 20 mins ago, my bag, with all my cards, (my extra nose ring), and my MILITARY ID are in there... along with a squished lipgloss that made a mess... BUT!

MY STUFF IS THERE :D

I have the cop's name on a piece of paper, I'm so getting him a bottle of black label <3 SOOOOOOO out of the ordinary for PR cops! ^_^

So he couldn't take the bag with him (cause of x and y policy) but they have it at that toll booth and my friend M, who will be driving this way around noon, will be picking it up for me (I called and said she would so they will ask her for ID then hand the bag over).

Omg you have no idea how happy I am! After the epic night I've had, I'm so happy it didn't end badly!

I still can't believe that man went toll to toll to find my bag for me. This is all very exciting news even now. Yes, he got his bottle of black and my dad met him too. An outstanding man :)

They always say everything changes when you have a baby. Have. As in you make one, give birth to, but never when a baby is in your possession, under your responsibility. When your only task and mission is to keep that baby alive, well and happy for a very limited time.

That's all it took to change my life. 

The other cars on the road weren't there for my entertainment, to race with, play catch up and tag with. They were all my enemies. The baby in the back seat wasn't mine, but I talked to him the whole way, kept him entertained, and made sure he got from A to B just as he had been handed to me. 

 It was better than Manolos on sale, my cat licking my face to wake me up, new car smell, figuring out what a familiar taste is, hearing a song you haven't heard in over 10 years, sand between my toes, snow flakes on my eyelashes... It was just real.

Having a baby [for 2 hours] (in my car) changed my life.

Should I ask further?

Father time delivers once more. And yes, I'm sitting by the door :)

...heals all wounds. My life is a wreck. Spinning out of control and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I have pay issues, of the 5 digit kind. I've seen too many doctors and I've payed it all out of pocket.

Call me vain, call me a geek, call me anything but I believe in things in writing. The apple people said my iPad 2 would ship from the 15th to the 20th. Today, the 18th, it shipped. They kept their promise :)



Yes time heals all wounds. But how MUCH time? I hate now knowing how long it will take for 'normal' to kick in. Seeing an estimated time of arrival makes me happy. While it's not set in stone when it will show up at the door, Knowing there's a sort of promise in writing gives me hope that good things will come because I am waiting.

So yes, time is the only thing I got going for me. I might have too much of it sometimes and others I feel like it's slipping between my fingers. But nobody like time... Only time :)

I've made a new friend. Her name is S and she says I have a listening problem. Yes, I rant, I talk and anything you tell me about, I will share my experience with. I'm working on my listening skills. I really am.

An other thing she said was that I talk about M a lot. Well before S came around, M was kind of my only friend of the female type who wasn't just virtual (text, twitter, yahoo, msn, forum, xbox live...) due to me moving around so much. Well I'm since I'm not going to talk about other people so much any more, I guess I will rant about them here.

Maybe I should talk about myself more. But to me, talking about my friends just shows how proud I am to call myself their friend.

Yes, the mess of letters will happen... Just ask P. :) To keep things from getting too confusing, I opened a page with a list of characters. It will be updated constantly with new tidbits on people. Just keeping track of things!

Anyways, you can find the Characters here or in a tab over the latest blog post.

Its lent. Again.

I only noticed cause N's status said something about lent and how "Everyone is doing it". Last year's post.

Well I'm guessing the world didn't end last year around this time, is why we're here. 10 lbs heavier. Where was N to tell me lent was coming up and we should not only give something up, but enjoy starving and calling each other to share tidbits like "I only had 3 juice boxes today for a total of 120 cals!"? Where was K to get me to do the healthy thing? Where IS everybody?! Why did I have to realize the day it was cause all the women at the mall seemed to have dirty foreheads. Save for the girls at the make up store.

Lent is a good call this year. I have a PT test coming up in about a month. I've only failed 2 in my entire life; 1 at AF ROTC my 1st year of college and the first one at BCT where I wasn't in the mood to do sit ups so I did 10 and lay down.

I guess this is the part I start using my food diary again and keeping track of sodium and calories and fat. I don't do PT on my own, or show up to PT as a matter of fact, I just do tests. The run is me catching up to the person in front of me, push ups are a joke for female standards and the sit ups... I train for a month before the test. Now.

So, as usual, to pass this pt test I will diet and do 20 sit ups every hour. The second week it's every 2 hours try to do 1 more than I did the previous time. The 3rd week, same deal but mon, wed and fri of that week I will do 50 sit ups before shower and bed time. A week before the test, by that monday I should be able to do 55-60 sit ups (for 67-73 points). Miserable, I know. But passing for such short notice.

Guess I won't slack off so much next time. I haven't done ANYthing in 4 months. And I put on 10 lbs... I'm still 118 lbs but I'm a soldier. I should look crazy hot in my bikini, not just ordinary. I'll work out at least twice a week from then on. Spring break is right around the corner. Even if Mel and I are going to Korea then and I doubt it will require bikinis, it means all the more shopping options I will have if I'm a size 2! Those girls over there are tiny!!

Happy Lent, Happy dieting and Good luck on your PT tests!!

Years ago I ran into the blog that made me want to rant my heart out about things I want. THINGS for ME! Not about the environment, not about things that really matter but about things I want because I identify with them and I wanted to meet people who identify with me based on what they like too.

End of story.

Well the 1st post I ever read at VieCouture was the one about some Vivianne West shoes. I wanted them soooo bad. I have for years. They've always been on the back of my mind even when I shop for other shoes. So I'm walking down the street one day...

... It was one of those days in which one tends to think "Today is the day I never would have thought of"...

...and there they were. The Vivianne Westwood's shoes. MY shoes, in the window, waiting for me to walk by so they can yell their little hearts out at me! "Take us home!! Try us on!!" So I did. I tried them on. I took them home. Wore them around the house, took them off only to visit them in my closet. Wore them all day today and I was in a dream! How delightful it is to have what you've wanted so long! Even through the crappy stuff that happened today I was in such a good mood!

I know they're just shoes but I've never seen anything like them unless you count mention of something similar like the jacket Nana wears which also happens to be a Westwood.

So thank you Nana for first introducing me to Vivianne Westwood!

Thank you Sex Pistols for wearing her stuff so she could get famous!

Thank you VieCouture for showing me these shoes!!

And thank you army for keeping money in my pockets so I can shop till I drop!

^-^ End of rant!

-----Nothing Follows-----

Twas the day before the Apple conference and all through the house
Lt was jumping, up and then down.
She couldn't believe it!
The day had (Almost) Arrived!
And she couldn't hide her excitement
no matter how she tried.

It would fit in her ACU cargo pocket
or even a pink purse
Now she couldn't make up her mind
if it's cover would be Hello Kitty or just stickers!

Yes I'm a total geek. I've been googling iPad from my iPhone during work, class, bath time... For a month now. A month ago I decided I want an iPad. Never even touching one at a store and all... Then I discover they don't have a camera.

That's a no go.

By googling "When iPad webcam" I discover the whole "Apple is waiting for the hype of Verizon having the iPhone" hype to go away so their Good news everyone! Moments don't out shine each other.



Okay, Verizon got the iPhone, yaaay so NOW do you tell me when the rest of us get the iPad 2?! A week went by... Then an other week... And finally I come accross THIS!



Yes! FINALLY! WOO!!!! And THIS we will see tomorrow!

But now for more confusion... Most sites say they will "Announce" the iPad 2... While a handful (Like this one) say "To be released". WHICH ONE IS IT?!!

This is so not fair :( Maybe my english is bad enough for me to not know that "released" and "announced" mean the same thing...?

So talking to yet an other friend about this and it goes a little something like this...

[7:59:57 AM] Friend: they will annouce it... they said so like a month ago
[8:00:36 AM] Me: But tomorrow is the apple conference where they will hopefully announce iPad 2... <---- see? I said announce :P
[8:01:44 AM] Friend: you said hopefully.... which denotes youre unsurity
[8:01:52 AM] Friend: i was confirming it
[8:02:05 AM] Me: Ph shush :P
[8:02:17 AM] Me: Let me be all giddy and tail wagging
[8:02:24 AM] Friend: ok...
[8:02:35 AM] Me: What if they do a big fuk u and don't announceit
[8:03:07 AM] Friend: then their shares drop and people will be pissed
[8:05:17 AM] Me: But
[8:06:55 AM] Friend: butt?
[8:08:00 AM] Me: We the apple lovers dreamers and hopers will forgive it for it's transgressions and willingly show up at the next conference !

Which resulted in him replying with a "..." and that was pretty much the end of it.

This is me feeling hyper, childish and misunderstood :( Does anyone share these feelings?

Or so they say. It's a brilliant add campaign but it caught my attention for all the wrong reasons... I'm a ballerina. And I'm a soldier. I love this picture!



I found that one here.

I'm pretty sure she wrote it for me. And if not, I thank her for it anyways :) Yes.. This will be my ring tone for a good long time. I translated it in my other blog, do stop by.

Don't forget... I'm a girl. I like getting gifts. Like other girls, I want to celebrate a holiday that I think is stupid. I don't want to go to a crowded restaurant, or wait in line for that one movie, or need over priced chocolates or stuffed animals.

What I do want is a phone call. A surprise visit. Getting kidnapped to buy clearance chocolates at Walgreens. Iced coffee left on my desk with a hidden message written inside the sleeve. Home made lunch. Maybe a kiss, maybe something else.

But I'm not getting my hopes up :) Valentines has only happened once for me... And that was when I was 16.

To spell the word glamorous I usually sing Fergie's song in my head... Next is "This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!". It would really suck if it came down to that.

I've moved to a new apartment.

On the nice side of town.

Crazy expensive rent that could pay my car 5 times over every month. But this is where I want to be [right now].

New apartments are work... there's dust everywhere and stuff that needs to be fixed (whether by the landlord or your self). One thing I didn't expect to buy was light bulbs. Maybe I'm used to barracks, government housing, hotels, other people's houses... where the lights come on. Well the 1st day at my new place was fine... Then night fell and I was alone in the dark. I flipped every switch trying to find a light that worked... and a decorative light in the living room was the only one to come on. My battle buddy (Miss E, who's a flight attendant every other day of her life) had crashed with me for the day, helped me move and also required light to get ready in the wee hours of the morning before I dropped her off at the airport) came up with the brilliant (no pun intended...) idea to remove that light bulb and simply screw it into the room we needed to be in. It was the only one we had. While she packed, I sat up on my dresser eying the only bulb we had.



We named the bulb. Mike, the enlightened. Eventually we found a lamp, instead of having to climb on chairs to screw it into random light fixtures. This made it easier to move it from room to room to bathroom and back. While she fixed her uniform I wrote a love letter on my phone... About my light bulb.

Would you share one light bulb with me? See... I can see myself doing that with you. If we put it in the bathroom, we can shower together. We put it in the kitchen so I can cook while you clean. We won't need it in the living room since we like the dark for movies anyways.Or we can put it in the laundry so we can find lost socks together.I don't mind being in the same room as you out of need. I welcome it. Always have. And think of all the money we would save on our electric bill since we can't leave every light on in the house. We would be pretty well off !

Just a thought that made me smile. A lot.

I even considered making a Twitter account for Mike. Updates would be something like "In the living room supervising MLT's late night spring cleaning" or "Watching the mistress bathe". Well enough of that.

I saw this comic at Power Point Ranger and identify with it completely.


Not just the last name thing, my grandma can't remember my first name and calls me by my cousin or my aunt or my mom's name... It gets old fast. When she calls out any name, even the cats, I answer. :)

Don't feel bad if you don't remember my name or know it for that. My name is, evidently, unimportant. Feel free to make my ring tone on your phone The Ting Tings' That's not my name.

Such a perfect day... Forget poetic licenses, interesting wording or ways with words. I just need to tell somebody how perfect my day was!

"Mad Hatter: And now, my dear, something seems to be troubling you. Uh, won't you tell us all about it?

March Hare: Start at the beginning.

Mad Hatter: Yes, yes! And when you come to the end, hehehe, stop! See? "
-Alice in wonderland

I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed... I usually roll to the right. For some reason I felt like rolling to the left and that's how it all started.

I went to the beach and couldn't find parking. I accidentally went against traffic and found a spot that was just my size. So I go out on the water, lay down in the sun. The shadows of the tall buildings soon crept up my feet, tummy and shoulders till they
Covered my face. It was time to go home.

Walking back to the car I see a chef looking at his car. By the time I was ready to go he was still there so I ask him if he's having car trouble and if I could help. Turns out he needed a jump start but didn't have cables. I did. And I offered. He was so happy! And so was I.

I thought there would be traffic on the way to the apartment so I went out of my way to get a pizza. The rout from the pizza parlor to the apartment saved me from the crazy jam from a car accident.

When I got home, two cars were leaving... And left a parking big enough for my jeep. That NEVER happens! I usually park about 10 blocks away...

So I come up the stairs and park my ass in front of the TV hoping to catch some family guy. Instead I found a Korean drama.. On a local Chanel. In Spanish. I could hardly believe it... I got to my feet, pounced on my phone and called my grandma. I've been telling her about this series for like 2 years... I own it on DVD but it's in Korean with English subtitles. My grandma speaks neither. And here it is, on TV, first episode... Did I mention my TV's remote didn't give me any trouble just now? It usually requires me to press the buttons in all Sorts of weird ways for it to work.

Today was the most perfect day ever... And I've been so broke with the move, the paperwork and life in general... so Spending 10$ on that pizza will keep me fed for a week. The thing is huge!

I can't wait to see what the day brings tomorrow. It's so great being married [to myself] again!

Somewhere in AR Regs it states the limit/budget on gifts. Don't ask me where, I somewhat googled it and according to this , that amount is $10 so we'll go with that.

Well say there's someone at work, a lady friend you want to get something for the upcoming holidays. Well I was thinking up gift ideas for a friend in a similiar situation with a similar budget that says "just got u something" and not "i went over board and now you feel like you have to get me something too.. or is this your way of telling me you have a boyfriend?" and this item made the top of my list.

A change jar.
A counting change jar.

I got mine at the PX about 2 years ago. $9.99. Was pre-wrapped. This year I saw them at Target.

Its not a "omg" gift but its pretty handy. I can't wait to get to work to use the label maker for a sticker that says "L's shoe fund". Barely 1/5 of the way filled it has 20 something odd dollars in it. plus change. On average i put $2 in it daily. If someone gave me this at first I'd be like okay... but after i see how quickly my spare change adds up, i can imagine myself stopping by the man in question's cubicle to show off the new pair of shoes i was surprisingly able to afford thanks to his gift.

In second place was the Starbucks gift card. A $10 card gets me coffee for about a week or coffee and pastries for me and a gall pall so I can tell her all about the guy who gave me the gift card. This option i find more casual and easier to give since its not in a box.

In third place, a new iPhone cover. Its always fun to have diferent covers for my phone. The bulky over priced Otter Case for drunk nights or any other ocasion I imagine myself dropping it, a pink sparkly one for when I don't bother with a purse just so its cute, a thin plastic non rubbery case so doesn't argue with me when I try to pull it out of my uniform pocket and a rubbery hello kitty one for the sake of Hello Kitty, who I love. Cases are accesories and I don't see why one wouldn't be as welcomed as a new wallet or purse. For around $10 at a mall stand you can get her something she will use every day cause girls have their phones on them at all times. In fact, I'm typing up this post into Notes on my iPhone as we speak :) My phone is on me at all times, even during pt.

Last but not least, a pendrive. Keep in mind this is the signal geek in me talking. Back in college I kept one hanging from my neck everywhere I went. One never knows when someone will have something in their computer you might want. Music, wallpapers, who knows. I also kept my journal on it. As long as it dangled down my shirt, it was safe. Not very useful for work related stuff nowdays since USB has been disabled on government computers and besides, any DD forms you can't google you probably have no business with.

He asked for advice. I shared.

This is what a very close friend thinks of me. Wow am I that insensitive? Mean? Immune to romance and or feelings? Do I really seem so? I know i give men a hard time but gosh... Can't wait to see SFC B's comment on this post...

I'm not living, I'm surviving. Day to day the mission is to wake up the next day and once I do, do nothing. I want to wake up and hopefully not survive an other day but live it. So stop asking if I'm fine, cause I'm not. And that is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE. Cause I know, I'll be fine (someday). Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some random Thursday, I'll wake up and be just that. :) So thank you for your patience, and quit bugging me so I can morn an other day that I put nothing on the map and plan for the day that I don't want to end cause it was amazing.

I see life through rose tinted lenses. You all know that by know. Even I encounter moments of weakness. Although I am not deeply religious, I find myself closing my eyes and praying sometimes. Or counting backwards from 10 before I spill my drink on someone. But mostly, I pray. For grace, serenity, wisdom, patience, peace, kindness, generosity, faith, self-control, honesty, courage, and endurance.

Here are a few words I would like to share with you. Words like Lord, God and Jesus have been omitted since I believe you don't have to be religious to pray or in general hope for the best, ask for strength or beg for forgiveness. Prayer is for everyone.

Grant me the serenity;
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage, to change the things I can;
And the wisdom, to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, this world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that all things will be right.

We don't celebrate Halloween because its a pagan practice.

Said the sign on my neighbor's door every year on the night of the 31st of October. Magoo, as we called her, didn't believe in giving out candy to children who wanted to dress up as a super hero or a princess one night a year because the 'holiday' was born from a pagan celebration. As a child reading said sign, I didn't even know what the word "pagan" meant.

Yesterday I was on the phone with my best friend and I tell him:

"I totally forgot it was lent! We should do something!"

To which he replied something along the lines of "I don't celebrate lent." and "I stay out of God's way and he stays out of mine. For the most part.".

I'm not very religious myself so I tried to get him to join in my 'celebration' by taking the religious connotation from it by saying the most preppy high school-ish thing I could think of:

"But everyone is doing it!"

Instantly I felt like a teen trying to explain to her parents why she is having sex at 14. Needless to say, he didn't bite. Not that he would after I suggested he give up alcohol.

Lent is a Catholic holiday in which you give something up for 40 days. Most catholics give up meat. This is also when McDonald's sells a lot of Filet o Fish sandwiches. Isn't fish a meat? Doesn't it "taste just like chicken"? I might have missed something, growing up catholic (and surviving it!) and all. My other neighbor Mrs. Todd always gave up chocolates during lent, and my mother would gift her a white chocolate hollow bunny on Easter Sunday.

Frankly, I never remember giving anything up. I'm still trying to get my friends to join in the celebration. Not for religious reasons but just for fun! If we all lost weight by not consuming what ever it is we constantly complain we want to give up, I would consider this the best Lent ever! Who knows, I might give up sweets this year and be rewarded with a Godiva chocolate bunny on Easter morning!

After eying her for about 20 minutes, John decided mystery girl wasn't waiting for anyone at the coffee shop. He'd seen her there every morning between 600 and 900 for the last few weeks. Watching her had become one of his favorite pass times. She always sat in the same chair, and once asked to plug her laptop behind his chair. An honor, of course. That had been the only exchange of words so far... But today he would be brave and close the space between them and ask to sit next to her on the love seat.

Manning up had been worth it. She smiled and moved over, welcoming him to share the lumpy corduroy love seat. Starting a conversation hadn't been difficult at all, she was quite chatty actually. Bringing his laptop today was a good call, gave them something to talk about, something to share with her.

After sharing their bookmarks, iTunes play lists and a few YouTube videos, she shared her blog and twitter with him. Seeing she was more comfortable with him (and that he was running short on time) he asked her for her phone number.

She shot him down.

That put a dent in his progress... A bit of a set back and he had no time to make up for it at the moment so he opted for a more direct approach.

"So you have a boyfriend or something?"

To which she replied with a smirk.

"Dude, I'm your next ex."

And there you have it. Enough said.

Flirty phrase of the week: "I'm your next ex."

Kudos to me ;D

"I have to have this bag..."

Julia said to no one in particular as she held the purse in her hands. She then turned to the man standing next to her and said. "No, YOU should buy me this bag!"

She rarely saw him since they were in different services and stationed apart. He had just been complaining about the matter when he saw her eyes wondered onto the bag in question. His eyes traveled from the petite woman next to him and landed on the small and rather over priced bag. To him anyways, $120 for a Coach was a steal. He would know that if he spoiled her more often. While Seth had never questioned any of the female's requests (or orders for that matter), this time it seemed worth pushing his luck.

"Why should I buy this for you? You have your own money..." He asked, choosing his words carefully. For a moment he was afraid her feelings would be hurt... Or she would hit him. Or she would yell at him... AND hit him. But nothing could have prepared him for what did come out of her mouth.

"The doctor said so!"

Julia had been all smiles for a moment, eyes still silently praising the bag as she looked it over. She had been so distracted with the new found addition to her collection that it took her a moment to realize he wasn't responding. Looking up at him, she held the bag against her chest, as if to show she had no intentions of putting it down. (Unless of course it was in a bigger bag made out of paper which gave her permission to take it out of the store). She tried to read his expression but his face was blank.

Seth blinked twice. Hard. The wheels in his head seemed to be turning, cranking and making all sorts of sounds in an effort to make sense of her words but the newly acquired intel on the situation at hand didn't add up.

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said."

Evidently all that thinking did him no good. Soon after the words left his mouth she did what he first thought she would do. And in the end he did pay for her bag in addition to coffee and lunch.

It may seem silly to you but it is a (somewhat) true story!

[All names have been replaced to protect people's privacy.]

A while back I went to the doctor complaining about back pain. Turns out my daily bag, which usually weighs between 9 and 14 pounds, was hurting my back even if I alternate shoulders. I use a Guess 'arm candy' bag almost everyday since I have to carry so much stuff around.

Correction, I don't HAVE to... Call it OCD if you like, but I always carry my phone charger, a can of slim fast, baby wipes, an extra pair of panties, a camera, extra batteries... I'm pretty sure I can fit my ruck sack in my bag.

I carry stuff in my purse in case I get stranded or I feel like getting on a plane when driving a friend to the airport (it's happened before. Twice).

In theory, if I buy smaller bags, I can't fill them with as much stuff. I don't own small bags so I need retail therapy. Doctor's orders ;)

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